One more holiday you probably forgot. Even Hallmark missed out. Oh, the money that could be made on cards that are sent to that special person you’d like to say “Fuck off” too. You know who they are. In honor of this special holiday, I thought it would be nice to give you a few examples of some of the cards I’d like to send.
To my sisters: I can make excuses for one of you. You’ve always been a nut case, which has only gotten worse with age. But the other sister, what an incredible deception you’ve pulled off. After all these years of thinking you were someone I could count on. This last year proved to me exactly what you are made of. When it comes to our narcissistic mother, it turns out that the nut does indeed fall from the same tree.
To my Ex: Why do I feel guilty for wanting to slam you? I always want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Than I see you do things that make me think you are blind to your own manipulations. And that is frightening, because I see you playing your desperation out on our child. Please find a mentally healthy girlfriend, soon, who can stabilize you, for the sake of our child. If you continue to stay single, I’m afraid no one will ever be able to pull you out of the holes you continue to dig for yourself.
To the Central Valley of California: People warned me before I came here. Who knew there was an “other” California? You are aptly named “the armpit”. I should be given an award for being able to hunt down the most ignorant, impoverished, meth infested, gang-ridden places on earth to call home. One day soon I will cross the threshold back into civilization and when I do, I won’t be looking back.
To my employer: I came to you naive and eager. You preyed on my vulnerability and pissed on it. You instilled your drones to attempt to brainwash me into being one of your lifeless army. As I began to learn more about the inner workings of your underbelly, it made me sick to see what lengths you are willing to go to keep your upper ranks fat and wealthy. Your toxicity has seeped into my bones. You dress yourself up so well to hide the evil that exists within you. You, with your bloated faces and painted on smiles on bobbing heads. It would have been one thing if all you did was harm those you purport to serve. But when I got sick, and you were instilled with the responsibility for my care, you only made me worse by denying needed treatment. For two years. Which has left me with chronic conditions as a result. I wanted to sue your sorry asses, only to discover that when I signed on with you, the small print took away my right to do so. You, dear employer, are reserved one of the biggest fuck you’s that I’ve got.
I think that about covers it. But I may have to add more, if I think of anyone else. It’s only 7:30 pm, and there are a few more hours left in this holiday.